Drive
by sithiegoodness
Summary: Dean drove. He sat in his car put his baby into gear and pulled out. There was too much to do. Too many things to consider. Too much to worry about. Spoilers! Overlaps with the end of "Sacrifice" (8X23) A bit of young Dean and a lot of Dean blaming himself for things that he shouldn't.


_**Disclaimer:**_

_I don't own Supernatural or any of its characters. They do own a bit of me though. I love this series and love these characters. This is my first attempt at writing for anyone but me to see so I hope you like it._

* * *

Dean drove. He sat in his car put his baby into gear and pulled out. There was too much to do. Too many things to consider. Too much to worry about.

* * *

Dad had been letting him drive a lot more often lately. Dean guessed that his punishment was up. Because honestly what else was Dean supposed to do? The damn shifter had decided to play chicken with him and Dean Winchester was not gonna blink first. The fact that Sam was in the car didn't occur to him until after the fact. But having to fix up the car alone and not driving for 4 months seemed like a good way to make a mends.

John had planned on going solo with a pretty large coven. Sam wanted to have some alone time with some chick he'd met a few weeks back and had convinced Bobby to trick John into having Sam spend a few days with him. Dean was so proud of his baby brother for pulling one over on their old man that he even volunteered to keep their Dad busy on the other end, but only if he could meet this girl that had Sam breaking the rules.

John planned on capturing some low ranking vamp and have it lead them to their creator. Like most of their plans, things had gone sour and by the end of the night they were both soaked in so much vamp blood they looked like slasher flick rejects. They hadn't gotten the head of the coven, after a 30 minute car chase and a lot of hand to hand they managed to nail some high ranking lackeys, so tomorrow promised to be another long day of footwork.

John opened the door to his '67 Chevy Impala, looked at the keys, and tossed them to Dean. "I'm gonna take a quick one, do you think you can get us back to the Motel in one peace?" No sooner were the doors closed John was snoring.

Now don't be fooled by the crash, Dean could drive, he had several fake licenses to prove it.

Dean put the key into the ignition, started up the car, and drove. Most seventeen year old boys would have hit 70 mph before leaving the driveway. But Dean Winchester respected what he already considered his baby. He'd fixed her up more than his dad these days. Plus, driving was the only time that he could think. It was so simple. Put her in gear, check your mirrors, and don't hit anything. There was something relaxing about driving his car. Very "This hand wax on. This hand wax off."

So Dean eased onto that rinky-dink town's main road and started the hour drive back to their motel. Dean would think about their day and what needed to be done, try to find something they'd missed, think about how Sam was doing and if that waitress in the bar bought the 21 on his fake ID and if she would be interested in doing some other 18+ activities with him. There was no problem that couldn't be solved while behind the wheel.

* * *

"CASTIEL!"

Where the hell was that feathered ass hole? Sam's here looking like some B-list zombie and coughing up a lung and Castiel couldn't spare a minute? Dean had dropped everything to help Cas go kamikaze. Dean had left Sam alone with Crowley of all people.

Cas had asked Dean to help lock Heavens' pearly gates with every feathered bastard behind them. Cas would be trapped with hundreds of his siblings that would most likely murder him on sight. As much as he still resented Cas' latest disappearances and the fact that Cas had felt that he couldn't trust Dean with the Angel Tablet and then lost said Tablet, Dean didn't want Cas to have to fight his "family" alone. But Cas had his mind set and Dean wanted to help however he could. Even if that meant helping Cas open the ring, throwing him in, and letting him fight his own battles.

Sam would already be dead if Dean hadn't left with Cas. That's what he focused on while he basically carried his overgrown baby brother from the rundown church where an almost human Crowley was still chained up.

As Dean checked over his shoulder, where Cas had a tendency to appear, he saw the sky.

"They're falling" Dean muttered to himself in astonishment.

Something had gone wrong. This was definitely not part of the plan. Dean would have thought there was some sort of meteor shower happening if he hadn't seen distinct winged human shapes in some of the closer ones. Hundreds of Angels were rocketing towards Earth. They weren't flying and Dean could have sworn that he saw some lose their wings. And all of a sudden Dean was thinking about Cas for a whole different reason.

Somehow Dean managed to get Sam into the Impala and did the only thing he could, he drove.

Cas would never do that to his brothers and sisters. They may have fought and even tried to kill him, but Cas would never intentionally cast them all out, nor would he have the power. And if Cas wouldn't do that, someone else did. So either Cas' plan had backfired and did the opposite of locking all angels in Heaven, which made Kevin not seeing anything about his trials on the Angel tablet, make a lot more sense, or Cas was too late and some renegade angel threw a hissy fit and threw everyone else out. So that left two options for Dean's best friend, Cas was either one of those falling stars or he was dead. Neither conclusion cheered Dean up but what made matters worse was that he knew that it was his fault.

Yeah he didn't tell Cas to try and shut the gates, but Dean pushed him away. Cas had asked forgiveness and Dean was still too hung up about not being trusted to accept it. Cas probably did this whole thing, in part at least, to redeem himself in Dean's eyes. Dean had let his pride get in the way of being there for the ones he loved most. He did exactly what his father would have done, and he'd never forgive himself.

Then there was Sam. Dean wasn't even sure if Sam really saw the impromptu fireworks and that alone told him how bad Sam was. Sam who couldn't keep his Wikipedia mouth shut, Sam who knew just enough about everything to carry a conversation with a nerd of any breed, had nothing to say. Dean glanced over at his brother. How could someone so big look so small? Dean could see Sam's veins through his skin. Sam's eyes were sunken and purple. His hair matted with sweat. Every few minutes Sam would clench at his chest above his heart as it the damn thing was trying to break his ribs. Not to mention that he only color on his face was the blood around his mouth from his latest coughing fit.

But every time he looked at his brother, the first thing that Dean thought was "It should have been me." Dean had known that this kind of endgame would cost a life. And Dean had been more than willing to be that sacrifice.

Dean wouldn't say any of it out loud though. Despite appearances Dean knew that Sam was listening. And after that whole "I asked forgiveness for all the times I've let you down" episode, Dean didn't want Sam to think that he'd chosen wrong again. What Dean said instead was

"Its gonna be alright man. I'm gonna bring you back to the Batcave. Dija hear? I'm bringing you home. The Men of Letters have to have something for this shit. I'll call Cas again. That dick better have his ears on. Just hang on, we'll figure this out."

He said it like a mantra. Willing it to be true.

All of these things fought for his attention as he drove. It was too much. It wasn't supposed to be this way. Was it only this morning that they were telling Kevin that he could have a normal life again? Where did it all go wrong?

"Focus" Dean told himself when it all started to be too much.

He had to think. So he drove. He shifted gears. He checked his mirrors. Don't hit anythi…"SHIT!"

Dean swerved as an idiot in a trench coat ran into the road not 20 yards from the speeding car. The sudden force of the stop was enough to get Sam out of his stupor; he asked "What's wrong?"

"Friggin angel speed bumps." Dean says. He's more relieved than he'd ever admit. But then Dean notices Cas' lack of scorch marks. In fact, apart from a small cut on his neck, Cas doesn't seem to have a scratch on him. Seeing Cas stare at him in the middle of the road makes him forget his relief which is quickly replaced by rage. In his anger Dean gets out of the car, slams the door, and starts laying into Cas.

"Is this gonna be a thing with you? Next time I'm just gonna suck it up and fix up baby after I run your ass over! Where the hell have you been?! You hear me calling, knowing that Sam scrapped the last trial and you decide go mia? What the hell happened? It's raining angels and you can't show up to tell us what the hell is going on?" Cas didn't even have the decency to look ashamed and that was the last straw.

Dean had managed to close the distance between them and for a moment forgot who he was dealing with. Dean was seeing red and in that haze he didn't notice Cas' hands going up in surrender. He didn't see Cas take a step back. Dean's hand clenched into a fist. His arm muscles tightened. Dean grabbed Cas by the collar and his punch landed with a satisfying crunch.

As Dean looks down at Cas lying unconscious on the floor, it takes him a minute to realize that something is wrong. As the haze clears Dean starts to wonder why his hand didn't feel like he'd hit a cement wall. And how could his punch knockout an angel of the Lord?

"Son of a Bitch."

Dean manages to carry Cas back to the Impala, a bruise already forming on the right side of his face. Sam, who managed to stay conscious through the whole encounter, asks "What the hell man?"

With a brother cursed by God and a former Angel of the Lord in the back seat, all Dean could think to say is "Something went wrong."

They needed to get someplace safe. There would be tome for arguing and apologizing later. Dean put the key in the ignition, checked his mirrors, and tried not to hit anything as he drove.


End file.
